If cuteness could kill...

All I can say is: W-T-F o_O

http://mmoinsider.ogaming.com/data/3864%7Ecrazyglue.php

Things have quieted down today, so hopefully I can get back to making this journal more of what I intended it to be, something fun. I've got a rough road ahead of me, full of uncertainty, but I've had a good night's rest and have a game plan of what to do. I've got my mother coming up here to where I'm at to help me find a better place to live. I may have to move back down south with her for a while if we can't find a place for me up here, but I'm going to avoid that the best I can. People telling me I'm worthless (which happend yesterday) doesn't bode well with me. I may have my problems, but I'm not worthless and neither is anyone else. If someone was truely worthless, would it even be worth it to tell them they are? No.

Anyway, enough crap. Thanks for listening again. The next post should be something fun, or at least more productive and lighthearted than all my whining and grief.

Ciao!

~Cazi~

I know I said this would be primarily an IC and character journal, and it irks me that I have to start out on the other end of the spectrum than I wanted to. Many of you that might read this post might not know me, but for those of you who do: thanks for taking the time out of your busy lives to read this. I've been dealing with a lot of issues over the last eight months, having moved from the town I called home ever since I can remember to a town just outside of Detroit. I moved here, having been invited by a couple of very good friends whom I made while I was living in my hometown. They had tired of the town I was from, and frankly so had I. There's not much there for a young person my age.

They offered to let me move up here near Detroit with them and I thought: "This is my chance to see other parts of the world. To make something of myself." Was I wrong? No, I don't think so, but I can't help also thinking. "It's been eight months since I've been here. Why am I still not on my feet? Why can't I motivate myself?" The truth is, I don't know. I wish I did. I lay awake in my bed, sometimes I cry, sometimes not. I know I need to take care of myself and be independent, that's why I took a chance and moved. It's harder for me, seeing as I have a disability of sorts and need extra help. I've asked for far too much help from people, even though a lot of it I do need, it makes me feel like a burden.

My friends, my family, my online family. They've all been as supportive as one could ask for. I can't ask for any more. I know that now, but why can't I motivate? What's stopping me? Even with my disability, there is so much that I can do. I'm not a very spiritual person, and I respect all other religions, but I was raised as a Christian, like many people in the United States are, so I have to look the only place left that I know. To God. And the last thing I ask is:

"Please, Father, guide me and help me make the right choices so that I can help myself... please..."

~Cazi~

Well, people, this is yet another online journal of mine. God knows I've had quite a few that usually get left in the dust to be forgotten. Hopefully that won't happen with this journal. I'm hoping this one can be more of a character journal, hence the look and the strange babble on my userinfo page. If you're here, you're one of three things: A friend, an open-minded individual, or far too curious for your own good. Things that some people may find "disturbing" will most likely pop up on this page, you have been warned.

~Ciao!